The other day I had a long, drawn-out conversation with my sister about how bored I am with my life. Of course I cried and felt guilty for saying that my life, which really is wonderful, is suffocating me, but it was one of those days when I felt like unzipping my skin and stepping out to become an entirely different person.
During our conversation, my insanely supportive sister didn't judge me. She didn't scold me and state the obvious about how lucky I am. No, she listened and then asked a very poignant question. What would make me happy?
I thought about it all night, and to be honest, I still don't know. And the truth is that I'm not unhappy. I'm just restless. I crave some kind of change.
In the past when I felt like this I would do something that completely obliterated my ability to return to the life I was living. I once left college and ran off with a group of traveling sales people from Jordan to sell gold jewelry and refurbished electronics. Another time I packed a cardboard box with things I couldn't live without, boarded a greyhound bus, and left my first husband. Those kinds of things are major bridge burners.
Now, I'm not looking for a bridge burner. I'm just looking for some excitement; something that can feed my desire for change without ruining my life. Per Sarah's suggestion I'm going to start taking some classes to search for new interests and new friends. Next week I begin a class on book binding. I'll let you know how it goes. Even if I don't find it to be exciting, at least I'll have a new journal to add to my book collection which will one day end up on the A&E show, Hoarders.
As for you, have you ever felt this way? If so, what did you do to make life interesting again?
4 comments:
Oh, book binding is good! Once you get really great at it, can we print and bind my blog?
I hope everything turns out well for you. Everybody needs change at different points in their life. At least you've never been afraid to make the change as a lot of people are. Where are you taking a book binding class at? I want to do that too!
HI :)
I think about you often, especially when I pass the front desk. The new girl, Alicia, is great and all, but sometimes I wish I had a little dose of Rachel. Hope you're doing well!
Love, Ruth.
Cycling cures all. Skip the classes (I always did) and go for something physical, join a volleyball/softball/bocce ball league or go cycling, really cycling, become obsessed with the culture and life will be more interesting!
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