The five most common words in my household

I'm beginning to think that my husband's vocabulary is limited to 5 words.

"NO! DON'T! RAJA, STOP BITING!"

Every morning I lie in bed for as long as possible, trying to squeeze the last drops of dreaming from my brain. However, it's been impossible to get that last snuggle in with the sandman since we got our dog from my sister's neighbor, Greg.

Now, I love my dog, but somehow I feel duped.

"Rachel, I met our dog today," my husband said one Saturday afternoon."He's so cute! They call him fuzz-monkey because he has a patch of white on his face. Greg said that he's the best dog of the bunch!"

This is where the duped part comes in. Now, I'm not sure who duped me. It could have been Greg, it could have been my husband, or it could have been the dog.

My bet is on the dog. You see, Raja is the best dog when other people are around. He's calm(ish), he nibbles on toes rather than diving for them like he hasn't had a meal in a year, he chases toys when they are dangled in front of them instead of lunging for any uncovered, sensitive piece of flesh you may have accidentally left exposed, and he runs circles around the room instead of trying to figure out the best way to jump onto the couch to bite your feet. When others are around he doesn't draw blood. No, not at all. When other people are around he's an angel.

It's only when my husband and I are alone with him that the inner vampire comes out. I thought about stringing together a necklace of garlic, hanging crosses up around Raja's sleeping space, or investing in a gallon of holy water, but all of these seemed a little extreme. I don't want to kill my dog! I just want him to behave. So, I've enrolled him (and myself!) in a doggy obedience course.

Hopefully after I've trained my puppy to stop biting, the sandman will hang around to cuddle in the mornings again. I feel so cheap when he leaves right after I wake up.